Some Light at the End of the Tunnel Shit

I have to share this article from about.com that really stuck to me and has widened my perspective about "staying quit." Before this article, I only had the very near future in mind. Mostly because most resources say to take it day by day, which makes sense. As much as I love to live in the moment, we have to think about our futures every once in a while. So read that article and know that shit happens, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And remember that you have a backbone, so you should use it.

Unconventional methods pt II

Today, I'm looking at naturopathy vs pills to help people quit smoking.

What is naturopathy? [na-chur-ah-puh-thy] Basically, hippie medicine. It's a real, medical practice that takes four years to earn a degree in. Only fifteen states in the US license naturopathists. Oregon is one of them. It uses nature, i.e. plants, herbs, spices, to treat illnesses just like medicine at the hospital. There are naturopathists just as there are optometrists and pediatricians.
I've read that smoking causes deficiencies of protein, fiber, B, C and E vitamins, as well as iron and beta-carotene; at the same time, it exacerbates these deficiencies. This is because a) smokers generally have poor diets, not eating as much of the food that gives us these nutrients (fruits and veggies) and b) the smoke itself depreciates them in our bodies. When we don't have enough nutrients, we're more susceptible to health problems like cancer and heart disease.
As for the anxiety associated with quitting smoking due to nicotine withdrawal, Valerian, Motherwort, Vervain and Skullcap are some of the herbs used in naturopathy to strengthen the nervous system. Generally, naturopathists prescribe herbal medicine as well as a change of diet catering to the different stages of quitting smoking. Almonds, for example, are supposed to repair some of the damage caused by smoking according to this study.

So what if this sounds like a bunch of mumbo jumbo? What if the people in white coats with MD/PhDs are the only doctors to be trusted with prescriptions? Do pharmacies provide better cures than the produce section? Here's what I found concerning "quit smoking pills:"

Cancer.org has a short list of prescription drugs designed to help smokers quit. They're mostly some kind of brain pill, meaning they are antidepressants promoting they alleviate withdrawal symptoms or actually mess with the chemicals or cells in your brain. Clonidine is a blood pressure drug also listed. Every single one has a side effect, ranging from drowsiness to suicidal thoughts. I've even seen some people completely scared off by the side effects of Chantix.
Most of the studies done to show their effectiveness are around four weeks, which I don't think is long enough. People return to smoking six months, even years later. Some people are on again-off again smokers their whole lives.

I have to say that I've never been a fan of using man-made chemicals to treat or cure anything you can't fix yourself. I understand getting a leg blown off requires more than tree sap and sewing needles to fix, and post-injury pain management is a bitch, but trying to cure things like obesity, depression, and back pain are 99% of the time caused by shit you do to yourself and 99% of the time reversible if you just don't do whatever it is you're doing wrong, or start doing something you're not and you should. Like eating healthy and exercising. Some people can't wrap their heads around the fact that the human body is made to consume plants (and animals...?) and move. So they take pills and go through expensive treatments and procedures to fix what they're breaking.
I think if a better diet, taking some herbal supplements, and moving around more can help quit smoking, not to mention that it just promotes better health in general, there's no need for prescription drugs to (try to) do the same. I don't think eating fruits and vegetables has ever had any negative side effects, do you?

Unconventional Methods

Yesterday, I came across the idea of using reflexology to help smoking cessation. I decided to put a pin in it until I could get some good complementary methods to share at the same time.

Reflexology is one of those Eastern medicines that Western science can't prove. As scientific and logical as I like to approach most things, I am still a firm believer in the power of belief: the more you believe in something, the more real it is, because you're telling the universe to create it just by thinking about it. So even though Zues, vampires, unicorns, and/or Santa Claus might not be/have been actual, physical beings, they exist because people believe in them. The more people believe in them, the more real they are, even if we never see them. That's why I try to spend more energy on positive things than negative because energy begets energy, so why attract shit you don't want? With that being said, let's explore some voodoo mumbo jumbo magic faerie dust shit that really does work for some people:

Reflexology is a type of massage therapy practiced under the notion that the feet, hands, and ears are maps of the body, and it's used to help people quit smoking by massaging the areas on these extremities corresponding with the lungs (to clear them), heart (for circulation), and brain (to help with withdrawal and stress), and so on. I'm all for it, because who doesn't love a massage? But if it can help other body parts at the same time, why not? I see no harm in it.

I found a nifty video you should check out if you believe reflexology can work. Hey, she's kinda hot and has a British accent, too. Five minutes well-spent.

Another alternative method closely related to reflexology (i.e. acupressure) is acupuncture, which also came from the East. This usually involves penetrating the skin with needles at various areas of the body and either manually or electrically stimulating them. As hokey (and scary) as acupuncture might seem, it's the oldest known medicine on the planet, so .... I can't argue its validity and still feel competent. It's even endorsed by the US National Institutes of Health, the UK and the World Health Organization.What's great about using acupuncture to quit smoking is that it seems be used (at least in the US) for mental treatment, like anxiety, depression, and insomnia just as readily as for physical ailments. What's even better is that it can be used for both at the same time, essentially.
I have eight tattoos, have given blood, and had more blood tests than seems necessary, so I can't say I'm afraid of needles. I was super extra close to getting acupuncture done once, but the logistics weren't proving too great at the time, so I missed out. I wish so badly that I could tell you about it.... maybe next time I feel like going to the clinic I'll go to the acupuncturist instead. And videotape it.

Coming soon: Naturopathy v pills

The End of the Beginning

This will be my last in-class blog post, and probably the shortest. As a summary post, here's how I'm ending the class:

17 days, 14 hours since my last cigarette
~$35 saved
141 cigarettes not smoked
14 hours and 5 minutes saved

These things should be true, considering I've not smoked in over two weeks:
Heart rate and blood pressure are normal
Carbon monoxide level in my blood has dropped to normal
Senses of taste and smell are back
Circulation has improved 19%

As far as nicotine dependence is concerned, I don't feel I'm independent of it, because the e-cig I have gives 1.8mg of nicotine (vs 2-4mg in a tobacco cigarette). I haven't noticed my heart rate, because it's awesome. When I was smoking, I'd notice it, because it would beat way too hard and fast for how strenuous the activity wasn't that I was doing. I haven't noticed it doing that at all, which is making my Park Block walks much more pleasant. And my body must be a little more awesome than the average Jill, because my blood pressure has been 120/60 for as long as I can remember. Cigs or none. I've definitely noticed my taste and smell improving, which is nothing short of fabulous.

Other than my body, what's up? I don't think I have any more or less stressors in my life than I usually do, and I feel like I'm dealing with everything just as I always have (or better?). I have no intention of smoking any cigarettes ever again. I feel like it's behind me. At the same time, I've heard the first week is the hardest, and I've heard the fourth week is the hardest, so we'll see. It'll be an ongoing thing in my life, which I hope will be minimal. Ideally, I want to just check in with myself once a year and remember how long I haven't been smoking. It's just one more thing to make me feel good later.
Honestly, I'm more stressed out about trying to eat healthier and find time to exercise. For now, I'm enjoying walks, and playing frisbee in the park. I'm about to not have a car (oh, catalytic converters, how well you are designed to ruin peoples lives), but I have a really awesome bike, and the sun is about to be out for four months, and my externship is downtown (in walking distance from where I usually am), so .... I'll be ok. I'll be more than ok. I'm already better.

WTF?!

Continuing my trek into Statisticsland, here are some more cold hard facts to swallow.

I can't help but wonder how Oregon compares to the nation, since at least half of the state population lives in the Portland Metro area, and Portland prides itself on being a weird, hippie progressive city....

According to the CDC, Oregon ranked 18th in the US in cigarette use (19.7%) and 26th in smokeless tobacco use in 2011. About half of "all adults" in Oregon reported being exposed to secondhand smoke, which costs the nation billions of dollars in healthcare. Even though Oregon passed laws to prohibit smoking in public places, it's barely above the national average regarding smoke-free homes and workplaces. I've read all over the place that about half of the country's smokers attempt to quit each year, but guess where Oregon stands... About 46% of Oregonian smokers tried to quit in 2009-2010, ranking Oregon 49th in the state. That's out of fifty states, people. I understand half the state tried to quit, but being in 49th place means other states are trying harder. So WTF, Oregon? Even worse, Oregon ranked in the thirties regarding anti-tobacco media campaigns, and 34th in knowledge of secondhand smoke harmfulness, but get this! Oregon ranked 6th place in the nation in belief of nicotine addictiveness..... Srsly, wtf? If you know it's so addictive, why aren't you trying harder to prevent it, treat it, and ban it?

The CDC reports that states spend a fraction of their tobacco revenue (from taxes and settlements) on tobacco prevention and cessation. Oregon ranks 20th, spending $8.3 million of our $332 million revenue on prevention last year. For you visual learners:

[These photos are from the Broken Promise Report 2011]



So where is the rest of the money going? One has to question how many billions of dollars wouldn't be spent on healthcare if more was spent on tobacco prevention. If anyone has any answers or avenues I can follow, please let me know!

COPD: A Reality Check

In researching life after smoking, I came across the very hard-hitting story of Mike Anderson, who quit smoking after forty years, because his doctor told him to "quit or die." He developed COPD. In the comments to his story I saw a recommendation for reflexology. In another avenue of research, I read that five years after quitting smoking, women are no more likely to develop cervical cancer than nonsmokers, so that's something to look forward to. I had no idea what COPD was, so what else could I do but Google it?

You can go to COPD.com to read about it, but I'm going to highlight what I care about:
What is it? Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. Emphysema and bronchitis fall under this condition. Basically, the cilia in your lungs harden, shrivel and stop functioning very very slowly, making your life miserable. The older we get, the more likely we are to get it (as with most things), but women are more vulnerable than men. The site says only half of the people who have it are actually diagnosed, and 66% (9,900,000) of those people are women. I'm thinking this can be blamed on the harmful exposure factor; I dare say, far more women house clean with brain-melting chemicals more often than men are exposed to asbestos, charcoal, etc.
The most interesting statistic: At least 75% of those diagnosed are smokers. What sucks the most is that the damage smoking causes is permanent. Sure, people can exercise, improve lung function, and do what they can, but what's done is done.

In a way, I'm lucky, because I've only got three years of less than ten cigarettes a day on my lungs. Mike Anderson has forty years of two packs a day. Some people feel they're too far gone. They have this defeatist mentality of "I've already signed my death warrant" so quitting seems futile. There are no take-backs, sure, but there's this thing called the snowball effect. When we were small and made mistakes, it didn't make us bad people. Sure, we hit each other, and called each other names, and probably did some really stupid things. I think we do harm, whether to others or ourselves, because we don't know any better. But we learn from our mistakes and move on. To refuse to quit smoking out of some kind of self-pitying stigma that it's broke and not fixable is to say that if you fuck up once, you're forever doomed to fuck up. Which seems like the kind of thing an angsty teenager who wears trench coats and eyeliner on his forehead might say. Don't get mad goth kids, I used to be that guy, too. Then I grew up. So what I'm coming to realize is that in every smoker is a masochistic emo kid. What percentage of ourselves, or themselves, that kid is is absolutely a choice. If we have control over anything in our lives, it's our attitude. Why not have a good one?

Don't Smoke, Try This!

Today's blog is going to consist of smoking alternatives! Why? Because the only withdrawal symptom I'm noticing is that I have a constant itch that I'm forgetting to do something, or I just need something to do. Not that if I don't do something I'll turn to a cigarette; it's just a really intense boredom.

The first thing I did to sedate myself was search for "quit smoking" apps on my android phone. I found a few, mostly lame stat apps and cigarette counters, but since I'm not smoking, they're pretty useless. The cool one I found is called Cessation Nation. Along with telling me how many cigarettes I haven't smoked, how much money and time I've saved, it tells me the health benefits I'm gaining as I stay smoke-free (refer to the photo in my first post). I also get achievements as I save more and more money. For example, once I saved $5, I got the I Can Get a Footlong trophy; $10 got the Let's Go to the Movies trophy, and just yesterday I got the Dinner's On Me trophy, since I've saved about $21. The best part, in my opinion, is the two games much like bejeweled or collapse that you can play instead of smoking a cigarette. So if you're a phone game person like me, this is a great app to help you quit smoking.


Something interesting I found on hubpages, a man wrote:

"This is kind of off the wall, but I personally believe smoking is 98% habit and 2% addiction. I bought a thing at the drug store that punched holes in the filters  of cigarettes. You could punch 1-4 holes. By the time you graduated to 4 holes (I changed to more holes after two packs at each level), you were still smoking, but barely getting anything out of a drag. 
After a couple of days at the 4 hole stage, it seemed stupid to light up. I quit in about two weeks, without  feeling as if I was denying myself any pleasure."

From guylife.com, I found sugar-free chewing gum and flavored toothpicks as alternatives to satiate the oral fixation of smoking. Also suggested was dark chocolate (in moderation), yoga, and running. Duh. Hard candies keeps coming to mind, but I'm sure only sugar-free can be deemed "healthy" alternative. I have it in my head that chewing gum isn't the best idea, because it makes your body think it's eating, so your body creates insulin. But instead of getting energy and foodstuffs to digest and something to be happy about, you're tricking your body, so it kinda starves and you get fat at the same time. I also stand by this same theory concerning sugar substitutes.

As far as candy and chocolate are concerned, I'm already showing the side effects of their "alternative" use. I'm breaking out like a preteen all over again. Not to mention, I'm probably spending just as much, if not more, on candy than I did on cigarettes, so...... let's just say no to all that.
So what snacks are healthy? Sunflower seeds, pistachios, almonds (any kind of nut, really; just remember they are high in fat [good fat]), carrots and celery! with hummus equals protein and fat, so maybe only every other snack time... Sugar snap peas/edamame, any raw vegetable, really. Fruit is good, but high in sugar, so moderation is key. I'm reading lots of ice water, specifically bottled to keep your hands busy, and frozen fruit work well.

But with food comes the scary monster of weight gain! Interestingly, to curb the weight gain, bee pollen supplements (or raw, if it's available) are a good appetite suppressant. If you're not looking for food to replace your cigarettes, there are other things to turn to. A toothpick is always nice to have; I'm a fan of the Plackers, so you can floss, too. Another substitute I keep coming across is cutting a straw to make you feel like you have a cigarette in your hand.

I used to sew things by hand when I had nothing but free time. I'm kind of a crafty artist. I don't have the time for that anymore, but I suggest if you do have free time that you would fill with smoking, try using your hands for something better. Make something, draw something, write something. Hey, I'm blogging right now! It's easier than you think.

That's enough for today. Let me know of any alternatives that help/ed you!

As the smoke clears....

Good news!

Last week, I remembered for the first time in I don't know how long what it feels like to just be. To just go about my day, do what I do, and just live in those moments. Most of the time, especially at work, I'm just running out the clock until my next cigarette. I would probably smoke all day long if my lungs could take it. I've never been a chain smoker. I might get through one and a half, and feel "full." But most of my day just feels like keeping myself busy, getting as much done as I can, until I can smoke again. Until Tuesday. I didn't think about cigarettes at all. As the day progressed, I only noticed what time it was and how many cigarettes I hadn't smoked, followed by a very satisfying feeling of not wanting one (not just "not yet" but "not at all").
I've considered quitting before, because I generally feel lousy when I smoke. With the flick of the lighter, and the first inhale comes this Debby Downer sensation that just says, "damn it" in a very disappointed tone. And I am disappointed. I disappoint myself every time I smoke. I've never been the smoker that blows smoke in anyone's face, or smokes wherever I feel like without asking if anyone minds. I don't even like pictures of me if I'm holding a cigarette in them. In a way, I hide my smoking. I've never been proud of it. Feeling like I can do whatever I want wherever I want, without shame is something I'm holding onto to keep on keepin' on without cigarettes. This progressing satisfaction feels familiar, and it's giving me hope that I have the strength and willpower to never smoke a single cigarette ever again. I've felt this feeling before....

Once upon a time, I smoked meth. Overall, I smoked for about three months. It started as a party thing, twice or so a month. Then it was a weekend thing, which progressed into an every other day thing. Which is a lot considering that the high can last eighteen hours. I lost twenty pounds. I failed a drug test and it ruined my career in the Marine Corps. I got to see the look on my parents' faces when they could see that I was killing myself. One day, I looked at my naked body in the mirror after showering. It took maybe thirty seconds before I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I called a friend over, he saw the environment I was living in, and we packed up my shit and left. Over the next month, he fed me, sheltered me, and loved me. He told me if I ever smoked meth again, I couldn't be in his life. I haven't touched it in three years. It's easy to quit something that causes so much damage to your life. I became happier and happier the longer I went without it. My curves came back, my stress went away, and every day the sun shone brighter than the last.

Why do something that doesn't make you happy? I look at pictures of myself then and I'm disgusted with how I look. I'm disgusted with myself that I let it happen, that I did it to myself, that I chose to hurt myself. To this day, there are some places I don't like visiting or even passing by, because I associate them with that time in my life. I don't hang out with the same people. As much damage as it caused, I know everything happens for a reason. I appreciate my curves now that I know what I look like when I'm unhealthily thin. Everyday life bullshit doesn't get me down the way it used to, because no matter how bad things get, I know they'll never be that bad again, and they'll never be as bad as they could be had I continued. I don't know where I would be if it weren't for my friend. I know he will always be a part of my life, no matter how far away, or how frequently we see each other, I know we'll still love each other when we're old and grey.

Today is the one week mark that I haven't smoked a cigarette. And I'm feeling great. I'm planning grocery store trips to eat healthier, I've discussed revisiting P90X with my boyfriend. Maybe cutting out fast food, soda and candy is too much to add on top of quitting smoking. Maybe it's a lot of pressure. But I don't feel it yet. I feel really fucking great about it. Why not overhaul all my unhealthy habits? Why not now? I've learned from experience that talking about things doesn't necessarily make them happen. I've learned how to make shit happen. There is no try: do or do not.

I've never known anyone to be this far gone, nor did I ever act like this myself, but here's a prime example of a tweaker, and why no one should ever think about touching meth:

S is for Sociopath

Smoke breaks

I had a sociopathic moment yesterday. I was at school, sitting by myself outside, "smoking" my e-cig, on my phone, while everyone else was smoking their real cigs. A girl, seemingly new, sat next to me on the curb and said, "I don't think I've met you yet, but I saw you sitting over here all by yourself and thought I'd come over." I paused, trying to make a genuine-looking smile, and said, "I usually sit by myself," which was followed by a brief, awkward staring contest.

[Insert facepalm here]

She looked confused for a second, then asked if I wanted to be left alone, to which I awkwardly replied "yes, please" and "thank you, though" to try to put out the bitchy flames I had just scorched her with.

Whatever the mood is that people are in when they feel like saying things such as, "Hi, it's nice to meet you," or any other kind of reaction to a new person is the exact opposite of how I felt in that moment.
I always sit by myself when I smoke, no matter where I am. I'm around people all day. My smoke breaks are my alone time. Sometimes I feel social and will join in the smoker circle, but it's rare. Thinking about it, I never really liked smoking with other people, even when I started. I started smoking when I was in the Marine Corps, I had a bunch of shit going on, and it was all I could do to keep myself from having a mental breakdown at my desk. Chief Warrant Officers don't give a shit about Lance Corporals' life crises. What's more, smoke breaks were my only breaks. I couldn't just take a walk outside around the building or anything. I saw all the smokers leaving whenever they wanted, and they'd just bullshit outside for fifteen minutes. I found a way to skate through smoking. It's hard to convey the atmosphere of an office with three marines, all of different ranks, and their desks stuffed inside it for eight to eighteen hours a day. I was stuck with what were essentially my two bosses all day every day. Who wouldn't want a break every ten minutes?
So when someone tries to take away my me time, I suppose I might come across as antisocial. It's hard to determine if I would have reacted differently if I were smoking a real cigarette. Would I have been happier and more friendly, or at least given her my name? [insert a babble about alternate universes here]

Now that the sun is coming out, I'm still going to go outside for ten minutes at a time during the same time I would normally smoke a cigarette. Ten to thirty minutes of sun, three times a week, is supposed to add years to your life or something. Maybe if I stand in the sun long enough, I'll gain back the years I've lost by smoking.

Weekend Weakness

I'm guessing I smoked about ten cigarettes over the weekend. Most of them were on Saturday, because I had a particularly worse day. I picked up an electronic cigarette, which my boyfriend advocated. It definitely helped, especially while at work. I tend to smoke more at the bar than I do when I'm working for my mom, going to school, or on my days off.

What is an Electronic Cigarette? How Does it Work?

Wikipedia has some information on e-cigs here. They're basically a vaporizer that simulates smoking; there are two parts: the cartridge and the battery. Some are single-use (once the battery dies, it's done), and some are rechargeable. Solid information on whether they actually help smokers quit is hard to find. I think they're more helpful to the psychological addiction rather than the nicotine addiction; some e-cigs have nicotine, some don't. It seems to satisfy the oral fixation just as chewing gum or a toothpick. I have a few friends who have tried them, and the reviews are mixed about how well they work. I think since I haven't been smoking for as long as some, an e-cig might work better for me than for someone who has smoked for 10+ years.
I have a Logic brand, which come in regular and menthol. I think it's a much better alternative to chewing gum, even sugar free, or eating. My main concern with quitting smoking is weight gain, so I'm gonna try to avoid that as much as possible.

WebMd has a short article on smoking and weight gain here. Next step is to find some good recipes for smoking-alternative snacks.

Hard Reality as Motivation: Effects of Smoking

Day Two: three cigarettes

Yesterday, I mentioned that smoking can cause cervical cancer when combined with HPV. Today, I'm doing research on how smoking effects different organs, and how deadly it can be when combined with certain ailments. Findings will be posted later.

Right now, I have to take a moment to be happy, at the risk of over-sharing personal information. I received a letter from the clinic I went to a couple weeks ago for my annual pap smear. Although I was confident I wouldn't get a call about the STD tests results, I was sure I'd get a letter, much like letters in the past, with the box next to "abnormal cells" checked, HPV written in the "possible cause" line, followed by a recommendation for a colposcopy appointment. Twice I've received this kind of letter, and the first time, I did get a colposcopy, which confirmed HPV. The second time, I didn't bother, because I figure cutting pieces out of my cervix, causing scar tissue, isn't going to make anything any better.
Third time's a charm, I suppose, because everything came back normal. Doctors at multiple clinics and hospitals over the years have told me that pap smears have only recently become standard annual exams for women twenty-one and over. This is because younger women were getting "abnormal" results, which became normal within five years. I don't know if it's just the body maturing or they really did have HPV and it went away (doing research on HPV, many sources have claimed that a good portion of people in their late teens to early twenties get rid of it within five to ten years on their own). Even the CDC states that "In most cases, HPV goes away by itself."
In researching HPV, I also found that there a many different types of the virus, about forty of which infect the genitals. Interestingly, these same strains can infect the mouth and throat, which is where smoking comes back around. The same CDC page states that 1,700 women in the U.S. get oropharyngeal cancer each year (6,700 men), and that smoking as well as HPV contribute to these numbers.

So now that I'm virus-free, all I have to do is quit smoking to keep myself from adding to these numbers.

As if I need more reason to quit:

I don't know much about my family history. I know my great uncle died of lung cancer when he hadn't smoked a day in his life. I'm sure it was from asbestos and lead-based paint from the work that he did. The only things I really feel I have to worry about come from the side of my family that I took the most DNA from: my mother's. Dementia, skin cancer, and polycythemia all run in her family. I don't think I can do much about the dementia or the skin cancer. I love the sun too much to avoid it. But being at risk of developing polycythemia should be enough to motivate anyone to quit smoking. This blood disorder thickens the blood, increasing risk of stroke, peptic ulcers, and gout; my grandmother has had three strokes within five years due to her condition. With smoking shitting on the blood vessels already, I'm pretty much asking for polycythemia, and blood clots. And a shitty death.

The more I look, the more reasons I find to stay away from cigarettes. Cold hard facts like these are much more effective than tactics I saw in school, in the D.A.R.E. program. Maybe they were just too cheesy, maybe I was too spacey to pay attention, but I don't remember anything about real life medical problems. What's cancer to a ten year old? Maybe having real life shit happen to me, or my friends or family, makes it more real. It's not something that happens to other people in another reality, far far away.

How to Win at Quitting (a smoker's guide)

How to quit smoking, no matter why you started...

I don't do New Year's resolutions. I don't heed advice about what's good and bad for me. I might do exactly what I'm told not to, if only for the experience of doing it myself. Despite what I was told, I started smoking cigarettes. I've been smoking for almost three years now, and fast approaching is the point of no return. Or at least the point where quitting's level of difficulty multiplies by a thousand fold each year.
In the last three years, I've ceased all exercise, but have maintained, even improved on, decent eating habits. Being a statistic is my last choice. I don't want to get cancer. I don't want to gain two hundred pounds and become diabetic or have hypertension or anything else. And I don't want to be featured in a diet plan when I lose that two hundred pounds, turning a new leaf, and adopting a health-conscious lifestyle. I want to beat the odds and live forever, most importantly, in a healthy body.

HPV, Cancer, and Me

Most personal to me, I don't want to develop cancer. I was diagnosed with HPV in 2010, and my doctor told me the only thing that I could do to not aggravate it was to stop smoking. I've recently met a woman diagnosed with cervical cancer, from having HPV, who still smokes. Meeting a statistic gave me quite a reality check. If I do develop cervical cancer, I don't want it to be because of my idiocy. I want to do what I can to prevent it, and if not smoking is the only thing I can do, there's no reason not to.

Failure is not an option

I don't have a solid plan of attack, but I know how to make goals and make shit happen. I'm a former US Marine, I'm a gogo dancer, a full-time student and a Burner. I've conquered things other people couldn't dream of battling. I know I can win this. I'm just not sure what the best strategy is...

This is the documentation of my first real effort to quit smoking. I'll do research, try alternatives, and I hope to replace smoking with the good stuff I used to do and the better stuff I find in the next four weeks.

Today is Day One, and I've smoked four cigarettes. I usually smoke five to eight a day. My first goal is to smoke only three a day for the first week. I'll make a new goal every day. My midterm goal is to not smoke any cigarettes the entirety of week four. Ready? Go.

Some great inspiration to start with